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why does it seem, we should fear the upward thriving?

riverstone mandalas by Elspeth McLean

to stir the pot, create change,
let new light in
that may quench those
deep seated
quieted hungers
and yearning…

passion stirs the frame,
as schrodinger made plain
it is not simply the quest for thriving life
that unites us all in this universe,
but actually
to ‘secure’ order
against the ever present forces
of entropy and decay…

we seek security,
stable structures,
the illusions of permanence…
to create a finite flow of
energy and participation;
simple, knowable,
suppressible parameters.

we seek the limitation of life.
to hold fast in time.
to maintain the current order.
lest breakdown bring the ultimate disorder
–  the chaos of death in separation.

and yet as the world moves,
time progresses,
and this universe expands ever onward…

wisdom bears witness
that no simple structure
is impervious to change.

if a system must feed itself
on the new
in order to live
to maintain structure

an identity…
then the continuation of identity
is truly an illusion.

illusion is, in time,

to create order in the face of new possibility;
external disruption,
internal disruption…
the only truly secure order

is found in the cells that CHOOSE FREELY
and PASSIONATELY to dance together
as the wind blows,
as the frame shifts,
and the ground swells;
as KNOWING SELF includes
knowing other…

as the passion of life
is the urge to create new life.
to experience fullness.
life seeks thriving.

to embrace life,
is to dance with flux.

and so the only sustainable order,
it would seem,
rather than deny chaos,
finds balance
in the patterns of the dance.
in complexity.
in expansion.

in change.

to die this way,
a thousand times each moment,
to self and other,
to discover compassion,
to discover relationship
and interdependance…
in time…
this is the only sustainable kind of possible.

ahhhh, but to live this,
to embrace this FULLY!
the TERROR of the cells
that race to find their new places!

in the stillness of all that
the stillness speaks
of a greater trust…
knowing that I STILL AM.
and to breathe that place,
will feed all,
will embrace all that fits
within my senses…

all i have found refuge in,
is to anchor in love and compassion,
the trust that knows
that I am seeking a higher order.

that each moment is only
the adjacent possible
of the moment before,
on a trajectory to the order
that will be…
and that my job is simply to maintain
a harmonious keel.

to be present in this moment
to the awe that cannot be avoided,
to the order that is now.

as i let that in…

i have already grown.